Sober Hair Is Actually A Thing! (And 24 Other Great Things That Happen When You Go Alcohol Free)

25 Benefits I Discovered After Going Alcohol Free

Having ramped up my happy hour during the pandemic, it dawned on me that I was f*cking exhausted. All the time. Every. Single. Day.

I wanted to blame it all on the stress of living with the coronavirus threat. The changes that it brought to my fiancé and our six kids, in both our home and work life.

The uncertainty of lockdowns, schools closing, adult kids moving back home. The bummer of postponing our wedding. And, of course, the actual coronavirus that was lurking, skipping and morphing into new terrors all over the globe.

But in my gut I knew that there was another reason I felt so terrible all the time.

The First Summer of Corona

After a couple months of lockdown in 2020, wine o’clock at our house started earlier and earlier. Aperol Spritz’s at noon by the pool five days in a row? Why not? Anything to drown out the unspoken fear of “We are all gonna die anyway, right?”

Actually, we did have a lot of fun with this in the beginning. The First Annual Stagecouch Music Festival 2020, held in our backyard, was legendary.

But with a house full of kids to feed and water that had nowhere to go, it soon felt like every day was a festival Saturday. “Did I just finish that whole bottle?” became my uneasy norm.

I was never falling down drunk or anything. It wasn’t like that. I was still the high functioning mom and wife I had always been. Running 5 miles a day and getting my stuff done. Looking back now, I think I was operating at maybe 65% capacity. And I just didn’t feel very good.

After more than a year of living like this, I was literally sick, tired and bored of it. When did having cocktails change from being fun to an exhausting chore? This question plagued me.

Was I an alcoholic? I didn’t think so. But I felt I was drinking too much for me and that something needed to change.

CDC Guidelines For Heavy Drinking

This is what the CDC guidelines say: Heavy drinking for women is 8 or more 5 ounce drinks per week. For men, it’s 15 drinks or more per week.

Surely they jest.

I don’t know anyone who pours a 5-ounce glass of pinot grigio. Certainly not my bartender. And one glass per day maximum if you are drinking daily? Ha! Most everyone I know drinks more than this!

And truthfully, one drink has never been enough for me.

Breaking Up With My Old Friend Alcohol

So, in late summer 2021, after my fiancé and I were finally able to squeeze in a small wedding between Covid outbreaks (how could I not drink Prosecco at my own nuptials after all), I made the decision.

There had been enough hungover mornings and days feeling like shit. (Until happy hour came around again of course.)

But, no more.

On September 7, 2021, after a busy summer of BBQs, birthdays and a Florida gulf coast vacation with ALL the kids, plenty of High Noons, (and the rest of the entire U.S. population), I decided to break up with my old friend alcohol for 30 days and see what happened.

My Tools For Going Alcohol Free

The first 30 days alcohol free were so monumental for me that I decided to go for 60. Then I upped my goal to 100 days.

I began to fill my brain with books about the science of alcohol and its affect on the human body. I started with Quit Like A Woman, This Naked Mind and Alcohol Explained.

“Quit Lit” Memoirs littered my bedside table and I highly recommend all of these: The Sober Diaries, Drinking – A Love Story, Blackout – Remembering the Things I Drank To Forget, Mrs. D is Going Without, Girl Walks Out of a Bar, The Unexpected Joys of Being Sober, Unwasted, Smashed, The Sober Revolution, Glorious Rock Bottom, Dry, Your Second Act, Drink, The Wine O’Clock Myth, Alcohol is Shit, High on Arrival, Guts, Between Breaths, Sunshine Warm Sober, Drink, We Are The Luckiest, The Sober Lush, Happy Accidents, Nothing Good Can Come From This, Sober on a Drunk Planet – I could go on and on.

While running, walking, housecleaning and cooking, I binge listened to several different alcohol free podcasts. I found these to be of invaluable support during this time.

Some of my favorites are Over The Influence , Recovery Elevator, This Naked Mind, Sober Awkward and To 50 and Beyond. Also, as a regular listener to We Can Do Hard Things, Episode 5 on addiction is excellent.

Is Alcohol The Tobacco Of Our Generation?

After reading more medical studies about booze and its harmful effects, I knew that I could never unlearn this critical information. ALL alcoholic drinks, including wine and beer, contain ethanol, the same ethanol that is used in gasoline.

They are as addictive as tobacco and are also linked to all kinds of cancers and autoimmune diseases. Just google “Does alcohol cause cancer” for a start. You will find lots of research information but you probably won’t find it in an easy to read link that’s gone viral.

Just take a moment and think about that. Who do you think may benefit if people don’t know this information?

Many people, including myself, believe that the alcohol industry today is similar to tobacco in the 1940’s and 50’s. This was before the general population understood the inherent health risks of smoking. Doctors were still turning a blind eye to its use, some even recommending it for relaxation.

But nobody wants to talk about this elephant in the room. Least of all the people, companies and governments making billions from it.

Going Alcohol Free Is Not For The Faint Of Heart

SO ANYWAY, as I was feeling better each week, I started to keep a list of the positive changes I was noticing after being alcohol free.

Don’t get me wrong, the road along the way has not been all mocktails and roses. It’s hard. It’s lonely. It often makes you feel like an outcast – immediately judged to be boring. It can also be awkward and embarrassing.

When I went to Italy this summer, there was a bartender in the lovely little town of Assisi that laughed and called me crazy in front of several patrons when I meekly asked him if he had any alcohol free beer. (Ordering N/A drinks can be uncomfortable when you first go alcohol free, but it does get easier.)

He carried on loudly as he walked away from me shouting – in English – across the cafe. “Why would we have that terrible stuff? We DRINK in Italy!” He was so proud. What an asshole.

So, “Why Aren’t You Drinking?”

People do say the strangest things when you tell them you are going alcohol free. There seems to be so much shame wrapped around the topic. Some assume you must be a closet drunk, say nothing in response and quickly change the subject. Others ask “Why not? Are you pregnant? Sick? Hungover?”

Or still others will ask you how much you drink. Often it seems, so that they can justify their own drinking habits.

Since answering “I care about my health and I don’t want to pour poison down my throat” seems a little harsh you will often say something to placate the listener instead. “I’m on a cleanse, a diet, a 30-day detox,” so they don’t have to feel bad or worried about their own relationship with drinking.

It’s crazy! Alcohol is the only drug that when you quit using it, people ask you why. I mean where’s the “Bravo, well done!” that ex-smokers get? Forgive me, I whine…

I wish someone would have told me how joyful life could be when you are fully present for it. (Well, maybe they did, but I wasn’t ready to hear it yet.)

I wish someone would have told me you don’t have to hit a rock bottom to decide to remove alcohol from your life. You can just be someone that is tired of all the bullshit booze brings.

That’s it! And that is my favorite answer to the Why Aren’t You Drinking? question.

Finally, Here’s My List of 25 Benefits of Going Alcohol Free (And It’s Still Growing)

1. NO HANGOVERS – This was a game changer. Waking up fresh with no alcohol in your system is a spectacular feeling that magnifies as the days accumulate.
   
   When you are on the Groundhog Day grind of daily drinking or bingeing, there is no escaping that sick, day after feeling, until you start drinking again.
   
   Once I removed alcohol from my daily life, I was FREE.
   
   
2. BETTER SLEEP – This took awhile. At first I had trouble even falling asleep at all without my wine sedative.
   
   In the past, I would wake up most nights around 3am and not be able to get back to sleep for hours. I spent the time awake worrying about everything. Trying to remember how many glasses of wine I actually had, then finally falling back asleep right before my husband’s alarm went off in the morning.
   
   After a couple weeks alcohol free, I started to be able to fall sleep in the evenings at a reasonable hour. In fact, in the first few months I wanted to sleep ALL THE TIME. I think my body was desperate for the good REM stuff. I began to have dreams again and remember them when I woke up.
   
   This was exciting.
   
   
3. THICKER, SHINIER HAIR – Yes, sober hair is actually a thing! Alcohol dehydrates you, making your hair dry, brittle and split endy. It can also dry out your hair follicles causing your locks to literally fall out.
   
   Regular drinking can cause vitamin deficiencies which can result in not just dull, frizzy hair but more hair loss!
   
   My hairstylist of over 20 years noticed the difference first, commenting recently on how my hair had changed and was so much thicker and healthier. Scrunchies that used to wrap around my ponytail 3 times could only be wrapped twice.
   
   Ok this was huge.
   
   
4. CLEARER EYES – Consuming alcohol negatively affects ALL your organs, not just the obvious liver, heart and brain, but your eyes too. It causes the blood vessels to dilate and clump together, enlarging your eyeballs (sexy) and making them dry, red and bloodshot.
   
   I’ve seen a vast improvement in my eyes and not just with the whites being whiter. One of our kids said to me recently “Mom the change I see most in you is in your eyes.” Ahh this makes me happy. Coach Taylor said it best: Clear Eyes, Full Heart, Can’t Lose.
   
   
5. BRIGHTER SKIN – Alcohol consumption can cause mayhem with your face. Excessive redness, dull and saggy skin, loss of elasticity, premature wrinkles, dark circles and a deepening of your nasolabial folds are just some of them.
   
   Alcohol also dilates your pores, inviting blackheads and whiteheads in for a party. One invite I do not have FOMO for!
   
   After several months alcohol free, I began to see a distinct change in my skin. I’ve moved on from dull, gray and lifeless to a brightened, hydrated and sober glow.
   
   
6. SAVING MONEY – When you clean out your pantry and you have 7,000 reusable six pack carriers of wine to dump in the recycling bin, with the clever marketing spin “Wine is, basically, fruit salad”, you know your grocery store must miss you terribly.
   
   Dinner, lunches and nights out no longer break the bank either. Cha-ching.
   
   
7. BETTER MEMORY AND FOCUS, LESS BRAIN FOG – People who regularly drink can develop vitamin deficiencies which affect many things including your brain and memory.
   
   But there’s good news. New research shows that not all alcohol related brain damage is permanent and that human brains can grow new neurons into adulthood and quitting alcohol can foster the growth of these new brain cells.
   
   Reduced brain fog happened slowly for me as I stacked days alcohol free. My short term memory has improved and I am better able to focus on conversations, tasks and to do lists than ever before.
   
   I can even remember the six digit code when my credit card company texts me to verify my identity without looking at my phone ten times. Win.
   
   
8. REDUCED CARB FACE – Nothing reduces your bloated, puffy, morning after getting shitfaced, face like cutting out the Cava.
   
   Splashing on sinkfuls of ice water, cold spoons placed on the bags under your eyes or wearing an ice pack face mask cannot hide the evidence of an overindulgent night before (heard this from a friend).
   
   Some people even report their entire head has appeared to shrink after removing the booze! (Credit: Shazza Hartley, podcast host, www.overtheinfluence.co.uk)
   
   
9. GREAT POOPS – Yep I said it. Regular alcohol consumption completely changes the lining of your stomach, forcing your body to adapt its potty habits accordingly.
   
   I never thought I had a problem with this but over time and once I quit guzzling the wine, things down there began working more optimally and I realized I had been so wrong.
   
   You will thank me for this. Insert three poop emojis here.
   
   
10. MORE ENERGY – Even when I had a “light day” of two glasses of vino (not the CDC ones) I often woke up cranky but soldiered on and got my stuff done, because that’s what we are supposed do right? Never admit how bad you really feel or how tired you really are. No wimps allowed.
    
    Who made this bullshit up? You are literally pouring an addictive toxin down your throat. Of course you feel like crap.
    
    When you stop drinking you eventually gain more energy as your body begins to reset so many of its operations that have been hampered by alcohol. You will accomplish and enjoy more in a day than you ever thought was possible back when you were drinking.
    
    
11. LESS WORRY AND ANXIETY – Alcohol is a depressant. Most of us know this but still reach for it when we are stressed and want to forget, and yes it does work. For about an hour.
    
    After that, as the effect fades and we reach for another drink, we just begin to compound the anxiety and dread we will feel tomorrow. With alcohol gone from my system I have a much calmer, quieter mind.
    
    The negative self talk and feelings of shame and self loathing have subsided and a feeling of peace and tranquility is slowly taking over.
    
    
12. IMPROVED BALANCE AND HEARING – Did you know that when you drink, alcohol is absorbed into the fluid in your inner ear and stays there, even after it is no longer present in your blood and brain? What?
    
    This inner ear disturbance can cause dizziness, imbalance, hearing loss, tinnitus, vertigo and spatial disorientation, aka the spins. I definitely felt less sure on my feet in the last couple years before I became alcohol free.
    
    Lately, I try to spend a few minutes each day working on improving my balance by holding the yoga tree pose on each leg for at least 30 seconds on each side and I am steadily improving.
    
    
13. MORE SELF CONFIDENCE – I think a lot of us, including myself, started drinking in our teen years first, because it was the norm and second, because we found out that if we were at all shy or quiet that alcohol gave us the liquid courage to ignore those awkward feelings and jump right in with the buzzing crowd.
    
    What I found after going alcohol free is that I feel safer to be my authentic self now, so conversation with new people comes easier. I’m still a more introverted person than some but I no longer feel the need to put on the mask that alcohol used to provide for me in order to feel I belong.
    
    I am happy to just be me. I feel brave. I trust myself. Some days I feel absolutely invincible. Some days I don’t.
    
    
14. CALMER RESPONSE TO LIFE’S PROBLEMS – Of course life is still full of trials and challenges that going alcohol free doesn’t fix. But drinking to quiet our mind only delays our problems, often allowing them to grow bigger as we ignore them.
    
    But with a clearer mind and conscience we feel more ready and able to address the things that need to be dealt with. When we feel calm the whole world feels more peaceful.
    
    Things and people that used to drive us crazy or into a rage become mild annoyances that we are able to work through, without losing our shit.
    
    
15. CLOSER CONNECTIONS TO OTHERS – Going alcohol free often results in feeling healthier, stronger, calmer, more peaceful, energetic and confident. It creates an energy in you that you can’t help but radiate out into the world.
    
    Others will sense that you are open and approachable, allowing you to better relate and communicate with the people you care about.
    
    
16. BETTER ABILITY TO LISTEN – Alcohol makes us selfish. Once you remove it from your life, you remove the stranglehold it had on your time, your thoughts, your energy, your SELF.
    
    You are more ready than ever before to listen to what others have to say.
    
    
17. SEEING AND ENJOYING THE SUNRISE – After a good night’s sleep I actually look forward to getting up in the morning now. I wake up thinking I LOVE MY LIFE. Because I FEEL GOOD.
    
    Rested, hydrated and grateful for a new day. I cannot repeat enough how glorious this is.
    
    
18. NO MISSING HALF THE CONCERT, FOOTBALL GAME, PLAY OR MOVIE BECAUSE YOU’RE IN THE BAR/BATHROOM LINE – I have missed so many opening acts, favorite songs, miracle passes and critical scenes because I needed to pee or get another drink. I can often make it through the whole show now and I’m saving on TP lol.
    
    
19. BEING HAPPY TO BE THE DD – What a relief to say yes when one of our kids, friends, neighbors or parents needs to be picked up at the airport or driven somewhere at night or anytime really. This is so empowering.
    
    
20. STAYING AWAKE FOR THE WHOLE MOVIE – Nothing better than watching a movie at home on the couch with my hubby, a bowl of fresh popcorn, junior mints, diet coke and no naps (or needing to watch the ending on Netflix again the next day!)
    
    
21. BETTER SEX – Being totally present for all the good stuff has been highly underrated. The rest of the details I will keep to myself:)
    
    
22. SPONTANEOUS FEELINGS OF JOY AND GRATITUDE – When we use alcohol to numb the pain and troubles in our life, we are also numbing the good and beautiful parts.
    
    I think most of us don’t realize this at the time but once you become fully alcohol free, your body, mind and spirit are able to begin a healing process.
    
    One that can sometimes bring overwhelming feelings of euphoria that some refer to as the pink cloud. You may not experience these right away or ever.
    
    I didn’t really notice the pink cloud feeling too much until after many months alcohol free. But now these feelings wash over me sometimes, usually in response to the simplest of things. A hummingbird fluttering by my window or walking out of the grocery store into the warm sunshine.
    
    I’ve heard it said by some that after removing alcohol from its grip on your life, its like the world goes from sepia to full technicolor. I like that.
    
    
23. MORE TIME FOR: exercise, hobbies you forgot you had, new hobbies you’d always said you would try but never got around to, discovering new talents and creative outlets and rediscovering old ones, solitude, nature, meditation, travel, stargazing, reading, listening to podcasts, playing board games, lunches and visits with your adult children, parents, coworkers.
    
    There is an abundance of opportunities to explore when you get back the time that alcohol used to take from you.
    
    
24. ROOM FOR DESSERT – Meals and dessert become the main event instead of a side show. I’ve had so many spectacular lunches and dinners in the last year, ones that I actually remember! And because I haven’t had cocktails and wine with it, you can bet I’m going to order the mud pie.
    
    
25. Did I say, NO HANGOVERS??

I know an alcohol free life is not for everyone, but I think it is important to know that YOU HAVE A CHOICE.

If you are thinking you may need to break up with booze, know that you are not alone.

There are thousands of people around the globe who have made the decision to change their lives and health for the better by removing alcohol and thousands more still on the fence waiting and wondering if they can or should do it.

All I can do is speak for myself, so today I am shouting from the rooftops! Removing alcohol from my life is THE BEST GIFT I HAVE EVER GIVEN MYSELF.

When I removed this ONE thing, I got back SO MUCH MORE in return. And as a mom, wife, daughter, sister, auntie, friend and, hopefully someday a Nana, I want you to know that it is NEVER TOO LATE to give yourself this amazing gift.

My story is being shared here in the hopes that it can help anyone else who may be thinking about changing their relationship with alcohol. It doesn’t matter how much you are drinking.

Only you know if it’s too much for you.

You don’t have to wait until it gets worse or you hit a rock bottom to decide to change. Drinking worked for me for years until it didn’t.

This is a no judgment zone. I think it is time to normalize, instead of stigmatize, the choice to not drink.

Just because current media trends tell us alcohol needs to be a part of every single life activity, we do not have to buy into this. I think it’s critical for people (especially our children and young people) to know that they have a choice in the matter.

A happy and fulfilling life is about connections. What we have in our glass should not matter.

Let’s support one another in our life choices.

I wish for you all good things!

Xoxo, Tammy

Read my other posts on this site including No More Hangovers for more information about what it’s like to go alcohol free.